This morning my:
Were all down.
We reset the router and modem.
Still, nothing worked.
I have 3 Zoom (like Skype) Coaching sessions today.
I have emails I need to write and send
I have a blog to write and post.
I need my technology to work.
I called our ISP
They said it wasn’t their issue.
Now both Chuck and I are running late.
Still no technology.
Then magically it all started working.
This is the third time in a week this has happened.
I said to Chuck “What are we going to do? I need this to work consistently.”
Chuck replied, “I don’t know.”
Then he walked away.
I felt panicked.
My anxiety and tension went from 0 to 60 very fast.
Just because I am a coach, I am not perfect.
I am 90% better than I used to be.
But this morning it was my 10% self that showed up.
- “What do you mean you don’t know.”
- “How do you expect me to coach people and run my business without technology!?”
- “Do you have any idea how busy my day is!!”
- “You need to fix this because I don’t have time to deal with it.”
I can tell you that didn’t go well.
I was upset.
Chuck was upset.
We were now both very late.
Then I remember “I messages” vs “You messages”.
Then I said:
- “I have 3 new potential clients schedule to meet me on Zoom today.”
- “If my technology doesn’t work, I could miss them.”
- “I am afraid they won’t give me a second chance.”
- “I need my technology to work.”
- “I am booked back to back until 7:00pm today.”
- “I am afraid the modem company will be closed by then.”
- “Would you be willing to call them when you get home at 4:00pm today?”
Chuck replied: “Yes, of course. I will call them.”
See the difference?
“You messages” blame and shame others.
They make other people the problem.
“I messages” cause you to take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Others don’t feel attacked.
“I messages” keep a situation from escalating.
It takes practice, but once learned “I messages” can really improve:
- Your communication
- Your relationships
If you would like help learning to use “I messages” just click: Schedule My Free Consultation With Cindy
I will help you!