My husband and I own a sailboat.
We are avid sailors.
In years past we auctioned a day of sailing and lunch
To help our local community.
The highest bid was always $500 dollars.
At each yearly auction the bidding was so intense,
We were asked to allow them to auction it twice.
Again, it would go to a second bidder for $500.
We did this for several years.
Our day of sailing was probably auctioned 10 times.
Yet only 3 people ever contacted us for their day of sailing.
The rest paid the $500 but never showed up.
This always amazed me.
Regardless of the amount of money or time required …
Showing up for commitments is important to me.
Yesterday I weighed the pros and cons of missing a meeting.
I woke up with my neck and back in pain.
I needed to see my Chiropractor.
But the only opening was at the same time as the meeting.
What was the big deal?
The meeting was free.
The information at the meeting was not new to me.
So why did I care?
Because how we do one thing in life is how we do many things.
I know making decisions (small or large) and honoring those decisions …
Honoring those commitments to myself and others matters to my life.
It makes a difference in the results I get in my life.
I finally decided that my neck and back hurt so much,
That I needed to go to the Chiropractor.
I made a point of letting the organizers know I could not attend and why.
No one is perfect.
Sometimes we can’t show up.
And letting people know we can’t show up is again honoring a commitment …
To ourselves or others.
It is a commitment to personal integrity.
So, my question is how don’t you show up?
- Plan on attending events, and then don’t go?
- Are you late for appointments?
- Do you consistently miss deadlines?
- Do you say you will do something and then don’t do it?
Years ago, I took a business trip to Seattle.
I stayed in a hotel where my friend stayed the previous week.
She had left her own pillow behind.
She asked if I would bring the pillow home.
I told her I would.
But I got busy.
- On my way home.
- Out of Seattle.
- Starting up the mountain pass,
When I remembered.
I immediately called my friend.
I offered to turn back and get the pillow.
I could have just waited:
- Until I got home
- Until she asked about it.
But then I wouldn’t be showing up as a person of integrity.
You see it isn’t just about physically show up.
It is about:
- Who you are being.
- How are you showing up.
- What you are thinking and feeling.
- How all of that affects your entire life.
- Do you show up ready to participate?
- Do you show up listening ….
- Do you show up ready to tell everyone your problems and complaints?
- Do you show up nervous, shy and scared?
- Do you not show up at all?
- Do you hide?
It all matters because …
How you do one thing in your life …
Is how you do many things.
How you show up or not show up gives the results in your life.
If you are not showing up ask yourself:
- Why am I not showing up
- What is the cost to myself for not showing up?
- Where else in my life do I not show up?
- What results am I getting when I don’t show up?
- Do I like those results?
If you are struggling emotionally, showing up can seem difficult.
I can remember when I was struggling.
I could hardly get out of bed.
What do you do then?
Try these steps:
- What disempowering thought is in your mental space right now? What fears or concerns do you have?
- What are the facts/circumstances about this?
- What are your judgments, interpretations or story about these facts? What do these facts mean to you?
- Notice that the facts are emotionally neutral. It is your judgments, interpretations and story that are emotionally charged. That emotional charge is grabbing your attention.
- Make a distinction between facts/circumstances and the emotionally charged judgments, interpretations and story. Notice the difference between the facts/circumstances and the judgments interpretations and story.
- You are now free to choose. If your judgments, interpretations and story are disempowering you, consider that they are not serving you in this moment.
- Consider that for just a moment, a short amount of time, it is possible to let the judgments, interpretations and story go. You can pick them back up later.
- Consider that the need to interpret and judge is a need to control. The need to control is rooted in the need to feel safe.
- Notice without your judgments and interpretations, the facts/circumstances stand alone. Facts/circumstances are neutral and non-threatening.
- Notice that with just the neutral facts/circumstances you are safe.
- Are you will to let go of control for just this small moment in time? In this moment can you just allow the facts to be and temporarily let the rest go?
- If yes, sit comfortably, take a deep breath, fully release it and declare: “I am safe. I release control. I accept what is and what isn’t.”
- Notice an internal space has opened for what is now possible. This is an opening to your power.
- What would you like to create in this space? What is your intention for this moment? How do you want to show up? Who do you want to be? What do you want to do with this power?
- Declare your intention: “I am (fill in the blank). Here are some suggestions for what to fill the blank with: Open, fun, creative, playful, introspective, connected, focused, loving, friendly, wise, curious, willing, honest, in integrity, transformed, compassionate, supportive.
- Continue to practice your declaration as you show up for your commitments.
This is a more advanced exercise.
It takes practice.
If you would like help showing up in your life, just click: Schedule My Consultation With Cindy
I will help you!