Instant pots are all the rage right now.
I don’t have one but I understand they are a combo:
- Pressure Cooker
- Slow Cooker
- Rice Cooker
- And more
I am old enough to remember the pressure cookers with a release vent.
My mother told me a story about when she was newly married …
She had a pressure cooker full of beans explode.
The beans were everywhere.
On the ceiling, walls, cupboards, floors.
It was a mess to clean up.
When clients share about their:
- Judgment of others
They often say something like:
“The feeling went away after I vented.”
I remember venting a lot.
It seemed like on a daily basis I was either:
- Angry at someone.
- Complaining about something or someone.
- Judging someone.
I would vent all of that to my girlfriends.
Then I felt better …
Until the next time.
I began to realize those negative feelings didn’t really go away.
I was like the pressure cooker.
I had vented off some of the emotional pressure.
Then I temporarily felt better.
But the underlying anger, complaint or judgement was …
Just beneath my emotional surfacing.
When the next thing happened, I was venting again.
Have you noticed similar experiences?
What is going on?
Let me explain:
Venting does not eliminate the negative feeling.
You just let off enough emotional steam to feel better.
But the negative feeling is still inside you.
Because the thought causing the feeling has not been noticed or transformed.
Ask yourself how much of your valuable time is eaten up venting?
What if there was a better way?
A way that stopped wasting so much of your time?
A way that actually got rid of those pent up negative feelings?
There is a better way.
The next time you are angry, want to complain or judge do this exercise:
- I am (insert feeling) at (insert name of person) because (complete the sentence).
- I need (insert name) to (what you want them to do).
- (Insert Name) should not (complete the sentence).
- (Insert Name) should (complete the sentence).
- (Insert Name) is (describe them and it’s ok to be petty).
- I don’t ever want to (complete sentence with what you never want to experience again).
- Go back and read each statement you wrote and number each statement using the scale 0 through 10. Ten is what bothers you the most. Zero doesn’t bother you at all.
Using the statement with the highest score, do the following exercise:
- Write statement with highest score.
- Is this statement true (yes or no)?
- Can you absolutely know that it is true (yes or no)?
- How do you act (what happens) when you believe it is true?
- What images do you see from your past when you believe it is true?
- What do you imagine will happen in the future when you believe that statement is true?
- What feelings come up for you when you believe that statement is true (single feeling words – happy, angry, etc)?
- What do you do to feel better when you believe that statement is true (eat, drink, use drugs, binge watch TV or surf social media)?
- How do you treat other people when you believe that statement is true?
- How do you treat yourself when you believe that statement is true?
- Are you empowered or disempowered when you believe that statement is true?
- Who would you be if you could not think or believe that statement (What attributes would you display. How would you feel?)
- What thought could you think to feel that way and authentically display those attributes?
- Are you empowered when you think your new thought? If not keep going until you find a thought that empowers you.
- Practice thinking your new thought.
These exercises will:
- Take less time than venting
- Allows you to notice and transform the negative/disempowering thoughts
When you do these exercises over time you will find:
- You experience less negative feelings.
- Get through negative feelings faster.
- Keep yourself empowered instead of disempowered.
If you would like help to stop being a pressure cooker, just click: Schedule My Free Consultation With Cindy
I will help you!