This sailing season has been hard.
The hardest since I learned to sail 24 years ago.
I have thought about quitting.
I have thought about selling the boat.
I feel like a fraud, like I am faking it.
When I learned to sail I was determined to excel.
I learned to single hand (sail solo) our boat.
No small feat.
Our boat is a Catalina 27’ Tall Rig.
Its mast and sails are a third bigger than other 27’ sailboats.
Our boat weighs 3 tons.
But I was determined to master sailing.
And I did.
I know how to:
- Read charts.
- Set a course.
- Read a compass.
- Understand tides.
- Rescue people that fall overboard.
- Take the boat out of the slip.
- Put the boat in the slip.
- Catch a mooring ball.
- Set an anchor.
- Adjust the sails for any kind of wind.
Chuck and I have raced our boat and won.
We have sailed on our own in the San Juan Islands.
When other’s say the wind is too strong to sail,
Chuck and I are out in it.
We know how to handle heavy wind.
Locally and worldwide sailing is a man’s sport.
So, I have been proud to be a competent woman sailor.
The local male sailors respect and speak “sailing” with me.
But then …
I developed vertigo.
It kept me off the sailboat for 1 ½ years.
The name of our boat is Passion.
So, there was never any doubt I would sail again.
After surgery, the vertigo ceased.
Finally, this year I went back to sailing.
But my excitement turned to self-doubt and then fear.
Chuck and I were making rookie mistakes.
We forgot the basics.
- Reviewed our training manuals.
- Took refresher safety classes.
- Relearned how to communicate while sailing.
Things were going better.
We took the family out on the 4th of July for a great sail.
I thought I was back until …
This past weekend.
While backing off a dock:
- The tiller was viciously ripped from my hand.
- With great force, it slammed across the cockpit.
- It landed squarely across Chuck’s face.
When I turned to assess what happened,
I was sure I would see Chuck:
- Dead from a blow to the head.
- Knocked unconscious.
- With a broken jaw.
Thankfully none of that happened.
Chuck only got a mark on his cheek.
Even the boat escaped damage.
I didn’t fair so well.
From trying to hold on to the tiller,
I pulled every muscle down my left side.
We learned we probably hit something floating just under the surface.
Maybe a water-logged log.
We hadn’t done anything wrong.
It could have happened to anyone.
But it shook me to the core.
Again, I wanted to quit, to sell the boat.
Then I realized I had two choices:
- I could shrink back from my authentic self and my life.
- Or, I could figure out how to get my mojo back.
I chose to get my mojo back.
For me, that met hiring my sailing coach for refresher lessons.
I am sharing all of this with you because:
- This is not just about sailing
- This is about life
- Horrible, awful, scary stuff happens to everyone – EVERYONE!
When it happens to you, you have two choices:
- Shrink back from your true self and your life.
- Figure out how to take back your life.
Often that means:
- Getting professional help.
- Doing the hard work.
- Experiencing the pain that comes with hard work.
I won’t lie to you.
It isn’t easy.
It can be painful.
But if you have been through hard times,
You are already living with pain.
The question is do you want those hard times to determine the rest of your life?
I didn’t want that as a survivor of sexual abuse or as a sailor.
And the truth is when you take back your life:
- The hard parts and the pain are temporary.
- And on the other side is your best life.
So, let’s go for that life together.
Just, click: Schedule My Consultation With Cindy
I will help you!