Years ago, when my son was 8 years old,

We took a 3-week vacation.

This was our dream vacation.

We were going to:

  • Sea World
  • Disneyland
  • Universal Studios
  • Hollywood
  • The California Coast
  • The California Redwood Forest
  • The Oregon Coast

We had saved and planned.

Our family of three was very excited.

A week into the vacation I wished we’d never left home.

My son was fussy and whiney.

My husband hated driving in the traffic.

My son’s complaining irritated my husband.

The two of them bickered constantly.

I felt like a single parent with 2 small children.

Finally, I lost it.

I laid down the law.

Straighten up or we would drive straight home!

It wasn’t pretty.

This was before I knew how to manage my thoughts, feelings, and actions.

This is before I had learned about thought work and mindset.

Here we are 30 years later.

It is Memorial Weekend and the beginning of summer.

School is almost out.

It is time for:

  • Summer vacations
  • Kids at home all day long
  • Family reunions

Often these come with a mix of excitement and dread.

Summer can bring a roller coaster of thoughts and feelings.

It can bring:

  • Treasured memories
  • Family closeness


  • Hurt feelings
  • Anger
  • Resentment
  • Family dysfunction


So, here are tips to help you navigate your summer.

Ask yourself:

  1. What is the event (kids home, vacation, family reunion, holiday BBQ party)?
  2. What will be challenging about the event?
  3. How do you want to be at the event?
  4. What is your decision ahead of time about who you will be?
  5. What is your commitment to what you want to create for yourself?
  6. What is your specific plan to carry this out?
  7. When you get to the event, how will you justify or excuse yourself for not following this plan?
  8. Anticipate and plan for obstacles to your plan and come up with strategies to overcome these obstacles.
  9. Visualize three scenarios where you are challenged, and you take the action you want to take.
  10. If it gets really hard, what is your plan?
  11. Write a message to yourself that you could read at this event to remind you of how you want to be and what you want to do.
  12. Write a mantra that supports your plan that you can say quietly in your head.
  13. Get consistent good nights’ sleep. Being rested allows us to tap into our emotional reserve when triggered.
  14. Schedule 10-15 minutes first thing every morning to do your Thought Downloads and Unintentional/Intentional Models.
  15. Breath slow and deep throughout the day.
  16. Consciously relax your shoulders so they come down from your ears.
  17. Consciously unclench your teeth and jaw.
  18. Take a 5-minute break to step outside and walk.
  19. Take a 2-minute break to go somewhere quiet to relax and re-center. A locked bathroom with a fan or water on, can buy you time to chill.

Remember you, your family and your summer don’t have to be perfect.

You got this!

If you would like help dealing with family this summer, just click: Schedule My Consultation With Cindy

I will help you!