Age doesn’t equal maturity.
Emotional maturity doesn’t just happen.
It is learned, practiced and developed.
I know lots of adults that are still in emotional childhood.
I used to be one of them.
You know you are in emotional childhood when:
- You blame someone or something for your negative feelings.
- You react or act out when something or someone upsets you.
- You avoid taking full responsibility for your thoughts and feelings.
- Your happiness is dependent on what others say or do.
Don’t beat yourself up, if you see yourself in the above statements.
No one teaches you how to become an emotional adult.
Children think their feelings are caused by what is happening to and around them.
This is normal.
As we mature emotionally, we learn we are in charge of what we think and feel.
But there isn’t a class that teaches this.
That’s why so many adults still believe other people cause them to feel what they feel.
That is why as adults we still say things like:
- They embarrassed me.
- They made me mad.
- They hurt me.
I know it is hard to hear …
But these statements are not true.
You are embarrassed, mad or hurt because of what you are thinking.
Someone said or did something.
You had a thought about it.
Your thought is what made you feel how you feel.
Realizing and taking responsibility for your thoughts and feelings:
- Takes you out of being the victim
- Takes you from powerless to powerful
This is being an emotional adult.
But it doesn’t happen all at once.
It takes consistently working on yourself.
Here are some questions to help you do this work:
- Name a person or circumstance you believe is causing your negative feeling.
- Describe how they make you feel.
- Describe why you think they have the power to create your feelings.
- What thought are you thinking when you feel this way?
- Can you see that it is the thought, not the person or circumstance, that is causing your feeling?
- Why or why not?
- How might you take responsibility for your feelings in this and future situations?
Developing emotional maturity is a journey that takes consistent work. If you are struggling or reacting to what others say or do, just click: Schedule My Consultation With Cindy
I will help you!