Life is not all sunshine and roses.

Sometimes life is:

  • Difficult
  • Painful
  • Hard
  • A Struggle

And that’s ok.

Think about it for a minute.

Would you want to feel joyful when:

  • A loved one dies
  • You receive a diagnosis of cancer
  • You are fired from your job
  • Your employer’s check bounces
  • People you know are in a flood or hurricane

No, those are not times to feel joyful

Those are times when it is appropriate to feel:

  • Sad
  • Scared
  • Fear
  • Hurt
  • Grief

Somewhere along the way, we got the idea that …

We should always and only feel positive feelings.

Not so!

There are times when negative emotions are appropriate.

The question becomes how do you deal with negative emotions?

It doesn’t feel good when you experience negative emotions.

So, when they show up it is common to resist, react to or avoid negative feelings.

Unfortunately resisting, reacting, avoiding …

Only intensifies and makes negative feelings last longer.

But also understand the point is not to force your way through these feelings.

The point is to allow negative emotions without resisting, reacting, avoiding.

If you:

  • Overeat
  • Overdrink
  • Overspend
  • Binge watch TV
  • Binge surf social media
  • Gamble
  • Throw yourself into your work
  • Lash out at others
  • Push people away
  • Hide

Consider you could be resisting, reacting or avoiding negative feelings.

So how do you allow difficult and uncomfortable feelings?

Here are some ways to allow negative feelings:

  1. Think of the negative feeling as a guest in your emotional home. Invite it in for a visit but not to live with you permanently. Ask it what it has to share with you. Write down what the negative feeling tells you.
  2. Cry, journal, talk with a trusted, supportive friend or professional that can listen without giving advice. The goal is not to fix anything. The goal is to allow the emotion to communicate with you.
  3. Give yourself permission to move through your days while experiencing the negative emotion. Just notice and allow it to be there. Speak to it and thank it for sharing with you but let it know you will still be moving through your day.
  4. Notice and write down your thoughts as you allow the negative feeling. Don’t judge, just allow and write.
  5. Pick one thought from your list and ask yourself is that thought true? How do you react when you believe that thought? What do you imagine when you think that thought? How do you treat yourself and others when you think that thought? Write all of this down. Now ask yourself what is the opposite of that thought? Can you find three examples that this opposite thought is true for you in your life right now?
  6. Give yourself time and grace.

Allowing negative emotions is a process.

It is not a quick fix.

As you use the above steps you will move through the negative emotions.

Eventually, these negative emotions will pass.

However, if you find you are living long term with negative emotions then please reach out to me.

Just click: Schedule My Consultation With Cindy

I will help you!