This morning I saw a post on social media.
Someone was upset because:
- Others said things.
- Others did things.
- These impacted that person’s family.
I so remember those days!
I remember being upset because of:
- How my ex was disciplining our son.
- What my boss wouldn’t do.
- What another employee got away with.
- Sharing a family event with my ex and his wife.
- What my husband forgot to do.
- What my husband said.
And on and on it went.
My life was one emotional roller coaster ride after another.
But it isn’t that way anymore.
How about you?
Are you ready to stop buying a ticket on:
The Give My Power Away Emotional Roller Coaster Ride?
This roller coaster isn’t like any at a theme park.
This roller coaster leaves you:
- Wanting to eat
- Wanting to drink
So, are you ready to stop buying that ticket?
I hear you saying: “But Cindy it isn’t me, it’s them.”
Sorry, but that just isn’t true.
Here is the truth:
- Nothing anyone says or does causes our feelings.
- Nothing that happens causes our feelings.
- It is our thoughts about it that causes our feelings.
- When we take charge of our thoughts our feelings change.
- When we take charge of our thoughts, we take back our power.
Here is how to get off the roller coaster and take back your power:
1. When someone or something upsets you, notice what you are feeling.
2. Ask yourself what thought is causing you to feel that way. You are not looking for what they did or didn’t do. You are not looking for what happened. You are looking for your thought about it that is causing you to feel how you feel.
3. Is this thought and feeling serving you? Is it disempowering or empowering you?
4. If it isn’t serving you, if it is disempowering you, upsetting you, take this step. Ask yourself what thought you could think for yourself that would have you feeling better.
5. How does this new thought make you feel? If this thought make you feel better, great! Practice thinking this thought. If not go back to #3 and repeat until you find a thought that has you feeling better.
At this point many clients ask me: “But what about the bad, awful, wrong, upsetting thing that other people are doing?”
Here’s the answer:
- Adults get to say and do anything they want.
- We get to react to what they say and do anyway we want.
- There are consequences for all behaviors.
- We don’t have to control those consequences.
- If others’ behaviors are unhealthy, we can choose to set boundaries (that’s another blog).
So, the question is:
Do you want others’ behavior to run your emotional life?
If not, use the above steps, to change your thinking.
Sometimes relationships are complicated and learning this process can be challenging.
If you would like help with relationship issues, boundaries or managing your thoughts, just click Schedule My FREE Mini Session Now