I remember when I was doing my sexual abuse healing work.
My feelings seemed to have a mind of their own.
They also seemed to be very intense.
Sometimes feelings came on unexpectedly.
This scared me.
It kept me from wanting to do my healing work.
My therapist suggested I go into the bathroom until the feeling passed.
What I didn’t learn until years later was:
- Feelings can’t hurt you.
- They are only a vibration in your body.
- All feelings pass.
I also learned how to deal with my feelings.
I even learned how to lessen their intensity.
Here is how to deal with and lessen the intensity of feelings:
- Don’t resist. This sounds counterintuitive. It is natural to resist painful feelings. Consider that resisting only makes the feeling more intense and causes it to last longer. So, don’t resist the feeling.
- Don’t react. You don’t have to do anything with the feeling. This is not the time to say or do anything.
- Breath slow and deep. Breath in through the noise and out through the mouth. This will move your mind out of fight, flight or freeze and back into your prefrontal cortex where you, not your feelings are in charge.
- Remember you, not your feelings are in charge. You are only the observer of your feelings.
- Ask yourself the following questions:
- Where in my body am I experiencing this feeling?
- What does it feel like (closed throat, tight stomach, pain in your head or neck)?
- What color is this feeling?
- Is this feeling hard or soft?
- Is this feeling fast or slow?
- What word would I use to name this feeling (scared, sad, angry, panic, anxious)?
- What thought am I thinking that is causing this feeling?
- How do I want to feel?
- What thought could I think that would help me feel that way?
- Practicing thinking this new thought.
Noticing and taking charge of your feelings takes practice.
The more you practice the above steps,
The easier it will become.
Your feelings will lessen their intensity
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