Often clients will tell me I feel _____________________,
Because so and so did or said ______________________.
- It hurt my feelings when my husband didn’t buy me a birthday present.
- It made me mad when they wrecked the car.
- My boss does stuff that is so frustrating.
- I get depressed when it rains.
- I felt sad when they died.
All of these are circumstances:
- My husband didn’t buy me a birthday present.
- They wrecked the car.
- My boss does stuff.
- It rains.
- They died.
None of these can make us feel anything
That’s right circumstances do not cause feelings
I want you to consider that:
- No one can make us feel anything.
- Nothing that happens can make us feel anything.
Feelings are not caused by what others do or don’t do, say or don’t say.
Feelings are not caused by what does or doesn’t happen.
Feelings are caused by what we think.
Someone says or does something, and we have a thought about that.
Someone doesn’t do or doesn’t say something, and we have a thought about that.
Things happen and we have a thought about what happened.
It is our thoughts that causes our feelings.
This is great news!
Because when you live like events and other people cause your feelings:
- You give away your power.
- You make your happiness dependent on events and other people.
- You become a victim always at the control of events and other people.
Instead consider that you can take charge of your feelings by taking charge of your thoughts.
You can do that by asking yourself what thought is causing how you feeling.
Your husband didn’t buy you a birthday present.
You feel hurt.
Ask yourself what thought is causing the feeling hurt.
It might be: If he really cared he would buy me a present,
Or he must not love me.
When you take responsibility for your feelings by acknowledging your thinking that caused the feeling you:
- Take back your power
- You are in charge of your happiness
- You stop being a victim
If you would like help dealing with your feelings, just click Schedule My FREE Mini Session Now