Sometimes when we are talking to our spouse, we end up feeling like they didn’t hear or understand us. We can even end up feeling like they don’t care about our feelings, input or heart’s desires. It can feel even more upsetting when we are talking to our loved one about our abuse. Here are some tips to help you with communication so that you feel heard and understood.
- Remember there are four parts to all communication:
- What I said
- What I meant
- What the other person heard
- What they made it mean
- Take turns speaking and asking for clarification. Say what you want to say. Then ask the other person what they heard you say. If they didn’t understand you, repeat what you said and again ask what they heard. Repeat this process until they understood what you are saying. Once the other person understood what you said, reverse roles. They speak, and you tell them what you heard.
- Eliminate distractions. Turn off the TV. Put down the cellphone and computer. Send the kids out to play.
- Face each other, sit knee to knee. Look at each other during this process.
- Extend grace to yourself and your spouse. Learning to use these steps takes practice.
- Set aside a minimum of 15 minutes a day to practice this form of communication with your spouse.
By practicing these steps, you will begin to see a difference in your communication with your spouse. If you would like help with this, simply schedule a free sample coaching session with me at: www.CindysCalendar.com