You are going about your day. It seems like a pretty good day, when out of the blue POW, you get that phone call, or someone says something, or something happens. The car wreck, the death of a loved one or the phone call that your medical test results weren’t normal. You’ve been blindsided, and your mind goes crazy.
This happened to me yesterday. As of October 29th, I have been free of breast cancer for six years. I had my mammogram last week. Yesterday I got the call my mammogram results weren’t normal and that I needed to come back in for another mammogram, ultrasound and to speak to the Radiologist. I went numb. Then my mind went crazy. It had a lot to say about the phone call and none of it was kind. It said things like “This is your fault. You gained weight and now the cancer is back.” “You should have insisted that the Oncologist keep you on the anti-estrogen drug.” “You did this to yourself.” “You are going to die!”
Being blindsided can happen to any of us. It can happen when something or someone triggers a memory about our sexual abuse or it can have nothing to do with our abuse. When we are blindsided, it feels like we have totally lost control. It can feel terrifying. It can feel like someone pushed us out of the driver’s seat of our life, jumped behind the wheel, pushed the gas peddle all the way down and pointed us and our life towards the edge of the cliff. We feel powerless to stop all the thoughts and feelings that are screaming through our mind. But guess what, we aren’t powerless. We are powerful, and we can get back in charge of our thoughts and our life.
Here is how to get back in charge:
- Do a thought download. Grab that paper and pen and start writing down everything that is running through your mind.
- Pick the thought that is upsetting you the most and do a Model on that thought.
- Ask yourself what you would rather think and feel and choose to think and feel that.
- Your brain is going to be pushy and persistent trying to get you to think and believe all those negative thoughts. Simply say to your brain: “That’s ridiculous. I’m choosing not to think that. Instead I am choosing to think (insert the thought that has you feeling better)” or “Thanks for sharing brain, but you are not in charge of what I think. I am in charge of what I think. I am choosing to think (insert the thought that has you feeling better).
- Remind yourself you are not your thoughts, you are the Watcher of your thoughts and you get to choose what to think and believe.
- When you can’t do this process by yourself, get Coaching. I am here to help you.
Yesterday, by myself I couldn’t get through the above steps. That’s ok. That is the normal human experience when we are blindsided. So, I got help by asking my Coach to coach me. Now I am able to choose to think. “I am so fortunate to have such a thorough medical team. The oncologist said not to worry, we don’t know that it is cancer. Right here, right now I don’t have cancer.”
That last thought “Right here, right now I don’t have cancer” may seem a little far fetched to you. But consider this, I can spend the time until I go back in for my tests worrying thinking I have cancer. Or I can spend my time centered and in peace thinking I don’t have cancer. I get to choose which thoughts serve me best. Just like you, not your mind, can choose to think thoughts that serve you best. If you would like help with this, simply schedule your free complimentary session at: www.CindysCalendar.com