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What they did hurt me. What they said hurt me. When they didn’t believe me, it hurt.

It is normal for us to believe that what other people do, don’t do, say, or don’t say is what causes us to feel bad. But what if that wasn’t true?

I want to be very clear here. I am not saying that sexual abuse doesn’t hurt or that it is ok. It does hurt, and it isn’t ok! What I am talking about here is how in our current day to day lives, we want to believe that what other people say or do causes us pain. When we think this way, we give our personal power away to others. When we give away our personal power we end up feeling hurt, helpless and hopeless.

Consider that it doesn’t have to be that way. Consider you can take back your personal power. Here is how:

  1. Write down what happened. What they said or did.
  2. Find the one Circumstance in what happened. A Circumstance is a fact. It is something that everyone can agree on. Example: The outdoor thermometer reads 60 degrees Fahrenheit. Everyone looks at the thermometer and can agree on the outdoor temperature.
  3. Look at what is left over after you find the Circumstance. Most likely they are your Thoughts, Feelings and Actions.
  4. Separate out your Thoughts from everything else.
  5. Ask yourself which single Thought is upsetting you the most.
  6. Ask yourself what you could think about yourself (not anyone else) that would have you feeling better.
  7. Practice this new thought by writing it down where you will see it and say it out loud several times a day.

In truth it is never the Circumstance (what others say or do) that hurts us. It is our thought about what happened that is causing us the pain. I know that can be difficult to accept. Just consider when you choose to think about it this way you take back your power and no one can hurt you.  If you would like help to feel better, simply schedule a free sample session with me at: www.CindysCalendar.com