All of us have hidden negative beliefs. Those are the thoughts that have you questioning your decisions or stopping you from going after your goals. In fact, 95% of our thinking is unconscious and often is the source of what has us stuck and unhappy.
How did this happen? When we learn something, it creates a neural pathway. If we repeat what we learned or add feelings to it, the neural pathway becomes strong and we think it over and over with less and less effort until we are thinking it unconsciously. Because these unconscious negative thoughts are running like elevator music in our brain, we can miss opportunities to recognize them and thus they become part of our identity. We mistakenly believe this is just who we are or how we are.
When you listen to someone share about their life, you may notice that some of what they tell you are circumstances (facts that everyone would agree with), some of what they tell you are only their thoughts about their circumstances. Often people believe that their thoughts are facts. They are not. They are only their thoughts and all thoughts are optional.
People often say things like “They hurt me.” The truth is people have the power to physically hurt us. When we are children, those older then us had the power to emotionally overpower us. Sadly, as children, many of us were told we were wrong, it was our fault, we didn’t do it right, we weren’t good enough. Because children are still learning to form their thoughts and feelings, they often cannot make the distinction about what to believe or not believe about themselves. So, they grow up believing there is something wrong with them.
As adults, we can choose to let go of negative beliefs. In fact, we owe it to ourselves to protect our emotional and mental wellbeing. It is our sacred duty to examine and let go of the negative beliefs that don’t serve us and to replace them with positive beliefs that allow us to be the best version of ourselves.
Beliefs and reality like to reflect each other. When reality contradicts your beliefs, it creates tension and makes you uncomfortable. At this point you have two choices, change your belief or change reality. Most people don’t realize they can change their thoughts and beliefs, so they sabotage their reality in order to get their life back into alignment with a belief that is not serving them. It sounds illogical, but since 95% of our thinking is unconscious, this happens almost automatically, and we don’t question it.
Remember you accepted many of these thoughts and beliefs when you were a child. You didn’t know they were illogical or harmful. You were a child and you didn’t know any better. Now that you are an adult, it doesn’t make sense to hold on to these beliefs any longer. So, what do you do now?
Here are some questions to help you pinpoint those old, illogical beliefs and evaluate them with the eyes of a loving and supportive adult that has your best interest at heart.
- What do you believe about your life?
- What do you believe about yourself?
- What are the lessons your parents taught you?
- What do you believe about your dreams coming true?
- What do you believe about your ability to create what you want?
- Why do you have your current results in your life?
Go deep as you ask yourself the above questions. Allow yourself to feel. Be brutally honest with yourself. During your upcoming week give yourself permission to notice whether these thoughts and beliefs are helping or hurting you. Give yourself permission to feel the negative emotions and the uncomfortable feelings in your body. Ask yourself why you feel that way? Ask yourself what you are afraid will happen? Play that fear story all the way out. When you do this, you will get to the negative belief that is causing that emotion and discomfort in your body.
Next week we will explore how to replace the negative beliefs you uncovered with thoughts and believes that will support and serve to move you forward in your life.
In the meantime, if you would like help with this, simple schedule a free sample session at: www.CindysCalendar.com