We’ve all experienced emotional pain. Have you ever thought “If he/she loved me, they would/wouldn’t __________________” as your heart was breaking? Have you ever hurt for your kids? Have you ever ached over a past decision? Maybe you have even had an on-going emotional pain that you thought you were just stuck with.
Emotional pain causes people to over-eat, over-drink, gamble, over-spend, binge watch TV, binge surf social media, avoid people that they think have hurt them or people that they think upset them. But, what if, we could actually process emotional pain in a healthy and productive way?
Let’s explore the four ways we deal with our emotions:
1. Avoid the emotion (sleep, do something like work or clean house, exercise or eat, to not feel it)
2. Resist the emotion – push it down, ignore it, think positive without dealing with the feeling.
3. Reacting – anger, yelling, punishing, blaming, gossiping about the person/circumstance that you are blaming.
4. Allow the emotion, feel it, experience it.
Did you know that feelings are just a vibration in your body caused by a thought you are thinking and that a thought is just a sentence in your head? This is great news because a vibration in your body can’t hurt you. It also means that once we have identified the thought causing the feeling, acknowledge the impact that thought is having on us, that we can then change the thought and the feeling. When we do that we release the pain.
You can also just allow yourself a set time (2 minutes or 5 minutes) to just experience the feeling. You can ask where am I feeling it in my body? How does it feel in my body (tight chest, hard to breath, tense shoulders, etc.)? What color is the feeling? Is the feeling hard or soft? In this way you can just allow the feeling and it won’t hurt you.
By using the following Processing Pain questions, you can further allow and process any painful emotion. Simply write down your answers to the following questions:
- How can I use this pain?
- How is this perfect?
- What can I do that comes from peace, is for me alone, and is not trying to change anyone or anything?
- How can I accept this with grace?
Some people struggle to answer these questions. Remember this is normal. Remember you can also schedule a free sample coaching session with me at: www.CindysCalendar.com I will help you. Be encouraged! The more we allow and process our painful emotions, the more space we open up in ourselves to accept and access joy in our life.